Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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