i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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