he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
