i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
