I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
