You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's blow job season.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
