Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
