Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
