So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
