are you still at the devil's house?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
