If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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