is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
