Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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