There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize