u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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