i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
