I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
