did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
