You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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