i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
