he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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