I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize