Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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