I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
