some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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