If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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