Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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