I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
