If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Come share oat with me in your robe
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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