I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
