Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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