dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
