Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They took my balls.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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