I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
