Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
