Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize