Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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