Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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