I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
