The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize