Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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