ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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