i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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