How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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