2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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