I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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