i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
