I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
