In the future we'll all be gay
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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