Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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