i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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