Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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