Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize