There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A+ Viking dick
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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