she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
