i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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