Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
