Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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