i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
