Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
