Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
