Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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