I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
