I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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