So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
