Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
