He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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