Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
