I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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