Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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