I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
