You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
