he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
