how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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