Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
