But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
