In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize