i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
