I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
