Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
