Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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