So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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