i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
