thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
